Final Night - Last Ask Dr. Hal Show

Mon, Apr 24
9:00
$7

"Dr. Hal makes it seem like a three-day weekend." -- Colleen Sudekum

THE DR. HAL SHOW WEEKLY-DISPATCH
Vol. =

VI =

No. 17
VALEDICTORY EDITION
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-----------------------------------
"ASK DR. HAL!" ENDS 8-WEEK RUN
CLOSING SHOW AT TWELVE GALAXIES TO FEATURE SPECIAL SURPRISES, =

MYSTERY GUESTS
Opening with a New Performance by an Old Favorite
LOOP!STATION!
ALSO FEATURING
KrOB's GorillathonTM
THE REAGANS ON DRUGS
KrOB'S LAST DINOSAUR EDIT
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND
PETE GOLDIE'S ASTRONOMICAL FANFARONADE
With Final Special Appearance By
The Brazilian Astronaut
Descending from the Starry Vault of the Heavens to Alight upon the =

Ask Dr. Hal! Stage
DAVID CAPURRO PROVIDES IMAGERY from the INFINITELY INDEXED MEMORY BANK
GAGS! GIRLS! GIGGLES! GORILLA SUITS! GRANDIOSE GRANDILOQUENCE!
-------------- YOU are invited: -------------

MONDAY, APRIL 24TH
BEE THEIR OAR B SQUARE

For immediate release-- The present era of the Ask Dr. Hal! show will =

come to an end this Monday, the Twenty-fourth of April. The popular =

entertainment will close its doors to the public for an indefinite =

interval, and all props and physical instrumentalities find storage =

for the time being in the cavernous 12 Galaxies sub-basement. Creator =

Chicken John will be departing immediately afterward to relax and =

recover during a protracted voyage overseas to the mysterious East-- =

and Tibet, the Roof of the World. There, amid chanting and the =

sounding of many sonorous gongs and cymbals, in an incense-scented =

chamber within the Secret Lamasery on the forbidden Yeti-haunted =

Plateau of Leng, he will sit in the full Lotus position, meditate, =

concentrate on the Buddha and learn to play the flute, while =

everything back here goes to hell.
But first-- one more show! Once more unto the breach, my friends-- =

one final time we'll tackle the questions in the envelope and =

dispense the free whippets and pour out the free Fernet shots. One =

last night of KrOB's Edits, David Capurro's Improvised Imagery and =

Pete Goldie's Astronomical astuteness. One final opportunity to hear =

Dr. Hal's Answers and Bardic Recitations...
And... we've got LOOP!STATION!
"LOOP!STATION is your new favorite sonic drug, doled out by the =

stellar musical duo of Robin Coomer and Sam Bass. One woman, one man, =

one voice, one cello, multiple layered 'loops' hand-tooled and shaped =

into lovely, cascading, provocative orchestral compositions with an =

immediate soul-rocking palpability... Coomer's voice packs the =

intensity of a siren wailing atop a speeding vehicle, yet =

paradoxically lures you closer like the true sirens of old, tempting =

wandering hearts to dash themselves against salty rocks. Sam Bass =

matches her step for step, bowing his cello near to the breaking =

point as he mind-bogglingly coaxes rich textures and layered themes =

ranging from chamber classical to rip-torn rock out of just one =

instrument. Like falling in love at first sight with scattering =

crimson hot embers, LOOP!STATION's music will dazzle you with its =

fiery brilliance - and may just burn you to the core." --Sol Crawford
Yes, at 12 Galaxies, 2565 Mission Street near 22nd, next =

Monday night's outing, the last of this show's run, will long be =

remembered by lucky attendees as a night on the town to enshrine =

forever in the treasure vaults of memory. The award winning (in the =

Bay Guardian) show has only this episode remaining before going dark.
And this last episode represents one more chance to catch us =

here at the very end of our current revival and experience Ask Dr. =

Hal! in all its savagery and barbaric splendor. This Monday, April 24th.

But There Will Be Other Dr. Hal Shows To Come In The World Of The =

Future, After This One Has Played Its Last Part On The Stage--
DON'T ASK US WHEN, BUT WE VOW WE'LL BE BACK SOME DAY
THE LAST SHOW OF ASK Dr. HAL! INCORPORATING NEW & FAMILIAR FEATURES & =

SIDESHOWS, SCIENCE, SORCERY & SOPHISTRY-- ALL IN THE STYLE OF THE =

LATE, GREAT ODEON
NOW AT 12 GALAXIES, A HIGH-TONED, HIGH-CEILINGED ESTABLISHMENT WITH =

FULL BAR
YOU NEVER KNOW WHO WILL SHOW UP OR WHAT WILL HAPPEN!
Can't wait? See the Dr. Hal Show right now!
...via nosy newshound-shutterbug Scott Beale's pix shot right at the =

scene with digital diligence. To ogle his complete, sequential photo- =

record/slide show of the spied Show (of five intervals ago), go, man, =

go-- to laughingsquid.com/2006/03/21/ask-dr-hal-show-chicken- =

johns-birthday-photos/

Social Notes
At 12 Galaxies last Mon. nite A.D.H. gamely blasted off with a game =

show-- supposedly 'twas to be Jeopardy but it turned out more like a =

well-known Pyramid scheme by Rick and Mike, a.k.a. the Thought =

Police. Back in the daze before there wuz a Dr. Hal show Chicken John =

& Yours Truly useta put on a different game show each wk. over at the =

Transmission Theatre. Where's that? It ain't, no mo'... nuthin' lasts =

in S.F... Then the Runaway Truck Tramps took the stage, double-wowing =

the crowd with a souped-up set. Yes, ravishing Robin Frohardt's =

vocals seemed well-suited to the 12-G acoustics... But somehow as an =

oversight our usual set, moved to the back of the stage for the game =

show & band, never got moved forward again-- when I came on stage I =

was plenty sooprized-- everybody seemed twice as far away! But the =

show managed to travel the xtra distance... On hand were Sister Mable =

Syrup, The Dark Room's one & only Ty McKenzie, curvaceous Cloe =

Ashton, the inevitable Paul Pot, Duncan D'Nuts, pneumatic Paula =

Leibowicz & jocund Josh, the Orange Box Man... Natch, Video Hound & =

Recorder of the Times SubGenius legend Doug "Puzzling Evidence" =

Wellman made the scene, squiring squirming buxom raven-haired =

temptress Justin Credible, DJ at the House of Shields Wednesdays & =

other swank soirees here & anon... Also noted, the sultry Sheriff =

Wendy at a table with a posse of two... that other Josh was also in =

the house to play the game... Anomaly, Mistress of Science slinked on =

stage to deliver her sizzling Science Round-up... The A.D.H. Stage =

Crewe boasted David Capurro a.k.a. Yo-yo King & Astronomer Royal Pete =

Goldie, the Bathroom Tile Grouter King-- the latter intro'ed the =

simian Brazilian Astronaut, a pop favorite. Still haven't turned up =

the missing space suit, by the way (see announcerment below)-- the =

mystery deepens. Hmmmm... it's a shame Paul Pot was nowhere to be =

found while the Sky Primate knuckle-walked across the stage... Frank =

Chu took a sabbatical from his usual stage rant-- no doubt he'll be =

back for our final bow... We did see uber-femmes Kate Rushford, "Da" =

Addams and the beauteous Marilu... La Belle Katy Bell provided the =

set-up for Birthday Gal Amacker Bullwinkle. By end of eve Amacker wuz =

fairly well shellackered... Cyberpunk/horror scribe John Shirley =

asked a Fernet-worthy question, and the dread liquid was poured. Did =

he drink it? This space ain't tellin'... Once again David Capurro was =

in fine form, finagling Chicken out of many a Fernet shot... Robert =

behind the bar was kept in magnum motion as thirsty nite-owls =

thronged to drink up. You know that missing space suit somebody =

kiped? Check out the announcement below-- it's still missing. Mystery =

surrounds its disappearance-- if you took it big Pete Goldie would =

like it back. No questions asked. 'Nuff said.

AND... CAN ALL THIS BE FOR A MEASLY...
SEVEN SHEKELS?
Pilgrim, you can TAKE IT TO THE BANK!
For more details, go to our wonder-woven web site at http:// =

askdrhal.com/ and read the fine print. There's more added to this =

supernal Site all the time (by our own Wild Man Webmaster Jascha -- =

check out the new MP3 Files of Chicken and Hal gabbing on and on, =

gaze goggle-eyed at the incredible ever-expanding Pictorial Section, =

dazzle your ears with KrOB's Refrigerator Noise and read Dr. Hal's =

Question of the Day. It's all about the show, remember. Yes, we =

frankly admit it's seven simoleons. No longer FREE at the late, =

great, oft-lamented Odeon bar, where our low overhead allowed us to =

pass the savings along to you, for today's incarnation of the show we =

are obliged to charge our patient patrons the paltry admission price =

of SEVEN DOLLARS ($7.00) (the same amount it cost to attend our =

previous run, October-November 2005, at Caf=E9 du Nord). Now, in =

keeping with the inflationary spirit of the times, we must request =

this modest, nominal charge for admission, a regrettable economic =

necessity in lean times of creeping crypto-fascism. The price of a =

mere burrito and beer, or the rough equivalent. But this paltry, =

tawdry seven dollars admits you to a memorable salon of music, mirth =

and intellectual inspiration-- it's actually quite a bargain, unlike =

the aforementioned (hypothetical) burrito. Speaking of which, the =

area abounds in culinary opportunities. Indeed, that burrito can be =

yours as close as the taqueria on the corner-- or, if you're =

surfeited with slumming, try the trendy, arty Foreign Cinema =

restaurant directly across from the premises-- or any of a multi- =

cultural gastronomic rainbow of choices to tickle even the =

sophisticated senses of a Brillat-Savarin or the jaded palate of the =

most titillated Trimalchio. Explore, circumnavigate the globe of =

gourmandizing to be found in the "nabe;" go ahead-- be a gastronomic =

Magellan or a Vascular da Gama (heh, heh). After all, that's what =

KrOB does.Then, having dined, amble on in to 12 Galaxies and wash =

your repast down with any number of refreshing varieties of Alcohol, =

not excluding the Miracle Liquid Fernet Branca. So, what do you get =

for slamming down your seven bucks at our 8th and last show, April's =

eighth folly, on Monday, April 24th?
Well, you get...
THE AFFABLE, AMIABLE COMMENTARY & MONOLOGUE OF YOUR TWINKLY, GENIAL =

CO-HOST
CHICKEN JOHN
THE MARVELLOUS MUTATED MUSICAL MEANDERINGS OF COFFEE CULT HERO
K-ROB
(not the false, Oakland K-Rob, but the true Hero of Caf=E9 This and =

Pirate Cat Radio)
AND THE GORILLOID MYSTERY OF KrOB'S ENTANGLING EDIT
Pulse-Pounding Climax of K-R's Gorilla Flotilla
AND BEWILDERING FOOTAGE OF DINOSAURS & FORMER U.S. PRESIDENTS
AND THE OPTICAL OBLOQUY OF COMPUTER & YO-YO FIEND
DAVID CAPURRO
AND THE SUPREME SCIENTIFIC SHOW-AND-TELL OF N.A.S.A. LIASON & ASTRO- =

EXPERT
PETE GOLDIE
AND THE TECHNICAL WIZARDRY OF STELLAR FELLER
JASCHA EPHRAIM
(The Master of Sinuous Stagecraft Shores Up our Torrid Technical =

Support & our Mind-Breaking Special Effects)
AND MANY SURPRISE MYSTERY GUEST STARS & PERFORMERS INCLUDING BUT NOT =

LIMITED TO
LOOP!STATION!
All accompanying THE ORACULAR & BARDIC RESPONSES & REJOINDERS OF
Dr. HOWLAND OWLL, B.A., M.C.S. etc.
THAT IS, AFTER YOU MANAGE TO PASS THE GIMLET-VISAGED GAZE OF OUR =

FANATICALLY DEVOTED DOORMAN
PHOENIX
Remember, we are perpetually endeavoring to improve our presentation, =

and adjusting our new format for the convenience of our dedicated =

friends and patrons.
We entreat our old fellow-travellers to remember that, these days, =

contrary to their previous experience and expectation, the show =

actually starts on time, and-- aw, hell. I'm not going to write that. =

Who are we trying to kid? Face facts-- this show never starts when we =

say it will. And, you know, this is partially your fault. If enough =

people would come earlier, we wouldn't always hold the curtain, eh? =

But for the rest of it we have to take responsibility-- somehow =

showtime always lags while we go through endless permutations of =

sound checks, trapeze-rigging, KrOB cajoling, backstage dressing room =

hysterics or what have you. And this final time should be no =

different. But look at it this way-- it gives y'all time to schmooze =

& socialize, hang out, drink, laugh and swap lies. It's a party. An =

oasis of Slack in your week that it just doesn't make sense to miss. =

And you wouldn't want to risk not being there for Loop!Station...

NOTICE
From Pete Goldie, On-Site Science Specialist
The space suit normally worn by Brazil's first astronaut during =

extravehicular activities (EVA) three Mondays ago is missing. Last =

night the Brazilian Space Agency had to scramble to locate a last- =

minute replacement. Fortunately, no primates were harmed by =

depressurization, but there was a brief lice scare. This is a serious =

matter. It went missing from 12 Galaxies sometime since the 3/27 Ask =

Dr. Hal! show. Your help recovering this precious space artifact will =

be appreciated.


B O O K C L O S E O U T
Folks, I just wanted you to know that if you've been anxiously =

looking for my book, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks, and, =

unaccountably, have still not been finding it in your local branch =

library or at kiosks, newsstands and airport bookstores, now you need =

look no further. For a limited time only, through a special =

arrangement with North Atlantic Books and publisher Frog, Ltd. if you =

are ruthless and quick now you can get your copy right from me, Dr. =

Hal. It's true-- this attractive, reasonably priced volume ($9.95), =

profusely illustrated by the Author, is available for sale at the =

show! I have two left but one is spoken for-- one more to sell to =

anyone who's ever been troubled about what happens to all those =

missing socks. But don't take my word for it-- just listen to the =

critics rave:

"Hal Robins (...[writing under the name] of [Perditus U.] Pedale) has =

discovered--and the very amusing, detailed drawings he's put in this =

slim volume from North Atlantic Books illustrate-- that while the =

mysterious appearance of Unknown Socks in your drier [sic] (and the =

mysterious disappearance of the socks you expected to find) may be =

conventionally explained, deeper, darker explanations can be found by =

looking farther than the interior of the drier [sic] mechanism..." -- =

BOING BOING

"If Robert Benchley, Bob & Ray, James Thurber, S.J. Perelman, Stephen =

Hawking and H.P. Lovecraft were all to collide in a Quantum =

Entanglement Event with a pair of Argyle socks, the result would be =

almost as weird and hilarious as this guided tour of theoretical =

hosieristics from the High Priest of Arcane Smart-Alecks..."
-- Marc Laidlaw, author of The 37th Mandala and writer of the popular =

computer game Half-Life

"...Robins once again offers up his... unique artistic technique..." =

-- Winston Smith, contributing cover artist to The New Yorker

"Hal Robins is witty, cunningly arch, downright funny, cosmically =

connected, and very, very entertaining." -- John Shirley, author of =

Crawlers and screenwriter of the film The Crow

"Dr. Hal... I'd do anything for Dr. Hal. He can have me if he, you =

know, wants me." --Fan Ameke, pathetic, broken-down Mission street =

alcoholic and drug user

"Countercultural impresario Hal Robins... has authored a small =

masterpiece... a delight from beginning to end, filled with lovely =

language, absorbing illustrations and fantastic ideas... that reaches =

an astounding climax... Not to be missed." -- Rudy Rucker, =

mathematician and award-winning science fiction author of Frek and =

the Elixir

Ladies and Gentlemen, I, Dr. Hal, am now not only poised to sell you =

this book right at the show but also to autograph it and inscribe it =

for you then and there, thus exponentially increasing its value. A =

bargain now available-- only ONE left. I've also got a few issues =

left of my hideous horror comic book, GRAVE YARNS, but when they've =

been sold the price on the final few that remain will have to rise =

steeply (Law of Supply and Demand). When these are gone, they'll be =

real gone.

THE HAL SHOW! ONE, YES, ONLY ONE MEMORABLE NIGHT MORE! (Then the show =

closes as CHICKEN goes off to visit mysterious Tibet.) REMEMBER-- =

GOOD QUESTIONS ARE STILL REWARDED WITH FERNET BRANCA, THE MIRACLE =

LIQUID, UNWATERED AND AT FULL STRENGTH.

Venue:

12 Galaxies
2565 Mission St (at22nd)
san Franphycho

www.12galaxies.com

Additional Info:


www.askdrhal.com