Ask Dr. Hal

Mon, Mar 6 - Mon, Mar 27
9:00
$7

"ASK DR. HAL" RETURNS FROM THE DEAD!
NOTED NIGHT CLUB ACT TO HEADLINE AT 12 GALAXIES IN THE MISSION
MONDAYS
NOTE: NOT the traditional WEDNESDAY NIGHTS
THROUGHOUT MARCH, STARTING MARCH 6TH
INCORPORATING MANY OPENING ACTS, NEW & FAMILIAR FEATURES & SIDESHOWS, =

SCIENCE, SORCERY & SOPHISTRY-- ALL IN THE STYLE OF THE LATE, GREAT ODEON
NOW AT 12 GALAXIES, A HIGH-TONED, HIGH-CEILINGED ESTABLISHMENT WITH =

FULL BAR
K-ROB EDIT WILL HIGHLIGHT HORRENDOUS NINETEEN-POUND SPIDER ENCOUNTER
SPACE IS THE PLACE WITH PETE GOLDIE
OUR OVERWHELMINGLY OUTRE OPENING ACT:
TED SCHRAM
The Man What Am
PERFORMING HIS OFT-REQUESTED HIT,
"I Didn't Take a Shower, but I Changed my Clothes"
AND A RAFT OF OTHER MEMORABLE MUSICAL STANDARDS
WITH THE USUAL & EXPECTED LINE-UP OF GAGS, GALS, COSMIC TRUTHS & FOLLIES

For immediate release-- Spring is here, and timorously the new =

shoots, summoned by the Rains of the Prime, inch their way through =

the stony soil of Winter to bless the reviving Earth. The chaffinch =

sings on the orchard bough, and the springtide wakes anew all that =

slumbered through the frozen darkness. In the Mission, an old =

favorite once again lurches into life, back from the Limbo of its =

hiatus. Again the lights dim and K-Rob produces the familiar fanfare. =

Once more Ask Dr. Hal goes on the boards-- yes, for a limited time =

(at least during the month of March) it will be as if our show never =

went away.
But of course it did, and it will again, after our agreement with 12 =

Galaxies expires. Whether or not we ever do any more of these remains =

largely up to you, our belov=E9d audience. So far, the indications are =

good. Help us keep it going by coming, sampling the varied and =

unwatered alcoholic potations offered by the establishment.
The biggest break from our traditional presentation, aside from our =

change of venue to the renowned 12 Galaxies, 2565 Mission Street near =

22nd, is that we are abandoning our signature mid-week Wednesday play- =

date to do the Ask Dr. Hal show on a new night--
MONDAYS
starting at or around NINE P.M. That's right,
MONDAYS

We hope that this will not pose a serious inconvenience to the =

schedules of our heretofore faithful followers and fellow travellers, =

but Mondays it is. For more details, go to our web site at http:// =

askdrhal.com/ and read the fine print. No longer FREE at the late, =

great, lamented Odeon bar, where our low overhead allowed us to pass =

the savings along to you, for this incarnation of the show we are =

obliged to charge our patrons the admission price of SEVEN DOLLARS =

($7.00), the same amount it cost to attend our previous run, October- =

November 2005, at Caf=E9 du Nord. Of course, for this, our Opening =

Night, a provision has been made to admit all "Winkers" FREE OF =

CHARGE. So, what do you get for your seven bucks, or your laboriously =

achieved "Winkers" membership, at our Flagship show on Monday, March =

6th?
Well, you get...
THE SEARING, SNEERING COMMENTARY & MONOLOGUE OF YOUR RINGMONSTER & CO- =

HOST
CHICKEN JOHN
THE INEFFABLE MUSICAL STYLINGS OF CULT HERO
K-ROB
(not the false, Oakland K-Rob, but the true Hero of Caf=E9 This and =

Pirate Cat Radio)
THE VISUAL VENDETTA OF COMPUTER & YO-YO FIEND
DAVID CAPURRO
THE SCIENTIFIC SIDESHOW OF N.A.S.A. LIASON & ASTRO-EXPERT
PETE GOLDIE
THE TECHNICAL WIZARDRY OF QUONDAM ONE-MAN-SHOW STAR
JASCHA EPHRAIM
AND MANY SURPRISE MYSTERY GUEST STARS & PERFORMERS
Not to mention this week's overwhelming Opening Act
TED SCHRAM
A Stalwart Performer from the Old Odeon Days...
AND THE ORACULAR & BARDIC RESPONSES & REJOINDERS OF
Dr. HOWLAND OWLL, B.A., M.C.S. etc.
AFTER YOU MANAGE TO PASS THE EAGLE-EYED SCRUTINY OF OUR DEVOTED DOORMAN
PHOENIX

Remember, we are perpetually endeavoring to improve our =

presentation, and adjusting our new format for the convenience of our =

dedicated friends and patrons.
We entreat our old fellow-travellers to remember that, =

these days, contrary to their previous experience and expectation, =

the show actually starts on time, when we say it will. We entreat you =

not to be among the chagrined few who only arrive after all is over. =

We repeat, the new Dr. Hal show begins at 9:00 PM sharp.
This week K-Rob's traditional monster movie clip turns its =

focus on the menace of giant spider attacks once again, a public =

service message dealing with outsized, bulbous arachnids which, =

though not of elephantine dimensions, are still far larger than they =

ought to be. Those who are sensitive to such material are advised to =

turn away or shade their eyes.
It's a new era, folks, and though our show is indeed once =

again a contender, we must emphasize that it isn't quite the same. In =

keeping with the inflationary spirit of the times, we do ask a =

nominal charge of seven dollars for admission, a regrettable economic =

necessity. The price of a mere burrito and beer, or the rough =

equivalent. But this paltry, tawdry seven dollars admits you to a =

memorable salon of music, mirth and intellectual inspiration-- it's =

actually quite a bargain, unlike the aforementioned (hypothetical) =

burrito. Speaking of which, the area abounds in culinary =

opportunities. That burrito can be yours as close as across the =

street-- or any of a gastronomic rainbow of choices to tickle even =

the jaded palate of the most sated gourmand. Then, come in to 12 =

Galaxies and wash your repast down with any number of varieties of =

Alcohol.

S P E C I A L A N N O U N C E M E N T

by Dr. HOWLAND OWLL

Dr. Hal here. I just wanted you to know that if you've been looking =

for my book, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks, and =

unaccountably still not finding it at newsstands and airport =

bookstores, now you need look no further. For a limited time only, =

through a special arrangement with North Atlantic Books and publisher =

Frog, Ltd. now you can get it right from me, Dr. Hal. It's true-- =

this attractive, reasonably priced volume ($9.95), profusely =

illustrated by the Author, is available for sale at the show! For =

anyone who's ever been troubled about what happens to your missing =

socks. But don't take my word for it-- just listen to the critics rave:

"Hal Robins (...[writing under the name] of [Perditus U.] Pedale) has =

discovered--and the very amusing, detailed drawings he's put in this =

slim volume from North Atlantic Books illustrate-- that while the =

mysterious appearance of Unknown Socks in your drier (and the =

mysterious disappearance of the socks you expected to find) may be =

conventionally explained, deeper, darker explanations can be found by =

looking farther than the interior of the drier [sic] mechanism..." -- =

BOING BOING

"If Robert Benchley, Bob & Ray, James Thurber, S.J. Perelman, Stephen =

Hawking and H.P. Lovecraft were all to collide in a Quantum =

Entanglement Event with a pair of Argyle socks, the result would be =

almost as weird and hilarious as this guided tour of theoretical =

hosieristics from the High Priest of Arcane Smart-Alecks..."
-- Marc Laidlaw, author of The 37th Mandala and writer of the popular =

computer game Half-Life

"...Robins once again offers up his... unique artistic technique..." =

-- Winston Smith, contributing cover artist to The New Yorker

"Hal Robins is witty, cunningly arch, downright funny, cosmically =

connected, and very, very entertaining." -- John Shirley, author of =

Crawlers and screenwriter of the film The Crow

"Dr. Hal... I'd do anything for Dr. Hal. He can have me if he, you =

know, wants me." --Fan Ameke, pathetic, broken-down Mission street =

alcoholic and drug user

"Countercultural impresario Hal Robins... has authored a small =

masterpiece... a delight from beginning to end, filled with lovely =

language, absorbing illustrations and fantastic ideas... that reaches =

an astounding climax... Not to be missed." -- Rudy Rucker, =

mathematician and award-winning science fiction author of Frek and =

the Elixir

Ladies and Gentlemen, I, Dr. Hal, am now not only poised to sell you =

this book right at the show but also to autograph it and inscribe it =

for you then and there, thus exponentially increasing its value. A =

bargain now available-- only seven left.

THE HAL SHOW! AT LEAST FOUR MORE MEMORABLE NIGHTS! REMEMBER-- GOOD =

QUESTIONS ARE STILL REWARDED WITH FERNET BRANCA, THE MIRACLE LIQUID, =

UNWATERED AND AT FULL STRENGTH.

Venue:

12 Galaxies
2565 Mission St (at22nd)
san Franphycho
415-970-9777
www.12galaxies.com

Additional Info:

415-970-9777`
www.askdrhal.com