Ask Dr. Hal

Wed, Nov 2
9:00pm (WE MEAN IT!)
$7 or less, if you read the ad

"ASK DR. HAL" BLASTS OFF, ROCKETING INTO 5TH SMASH WEEK!
ALL SYSTEMS GO and A-OK!
ROCK-'EM, SOCK 'EM OPENING ACTS TO INCLUDE BALLADEER SEAN HAYES, The =

OBO MARTIN Experience, CAPTIVATING CHANTEUSE SILVER-- AND SPECIAL =

APPEARANCE BY WILL FRANKEN!

and if we're very, very lucky........

From New York City: it's BABY DEE!!!!!!!! (she's here but not sure =

she can make it... let's hope she can! She is totally awesome and awe- =

inspiring... and gorgeous!!!!!!

of course, there is always the reliable
--- K-ROB EDIT OF INSANE INSECT INFELICITIES ---

5 SHOWS YET REMAIN IN REVIVAL OF CLASSIC SERIES!

WEEK NO. 5 OF SHOW'S REVIVAL AT CAFE DU NORD BEGINS WEDNESDAY, =

NOVEMBER 2ND

IT'S ALL IN THE VERY STYLE OF THE LATE, GREAT ODEON-- YOU'D THINK =

YOU WERE THERE

FOOD AND DRINK ARE AVAILABLE AT LATEST INCARNATION OF RENOWNED NIGHT =

CLUB ACT, NOW AT MORE LUXURIOUS VENUE WITH FULL BAR
EXTRA ADDED ATTRACTION! PETE GOLDIE REPORTS ON OUTER SOLAR SYSTEM
Also, as we begin November,
"Ask Dr. Hal" salutes El Dia de los Muertes,
the Day of the Dead
November 2nd is the last day of this traditional festival of the =

Hallowe'en season. "Participate in the historic Day of the Dead =

Parade-- then parade over to see us." -- Chicken John.
WE INVITE YOU TO COME IN COSTUME

1/2 PRICE
FOR THOSE WHO GIVE THE PASSWORD,
"I have herpes and my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't know. Should I =

tell them?"
AT THE DOOR

For immediate release-- SAN FRANCISCO - the award-winning (in the =

S.F. Bay Guardian) Ask Dr. Hal show wildly careens and veers in all =

directions, propelled on a
tide of Hallowe'en feeling and the excitement of the second month =

of its heralded revival. Following the Day of the Dead Parade, =

celebrants and mummers need not stow their mufti for next year's =

season. Nay, they are entreated to toddle on over to Caf=E9 Du Nord, =

2174 Market St., where we will make it a Night of the Day of the Dead =

to remember, indeed. Honor your ancestors-- and yourselves by joining =

us for a bubbling gumbo of prophecy, Bardic outbursts, and =

specialized performance at a high level of versatility.

Special Preview Feature: SEE the Ask Dr. Hal Show-- Right Now! Just =

for those Dr. Hal Show fans who may be distressed that they must wait =

until November 2nd to see it all, we hereby provide, thanks to =

Laughing Squid's Master Tentacle Scott Beale, (images of) the show in =

all its savagery and thrilling barbaric splendor. Check out Scott's =

photos by following this link:

laughingsquid.com/2005/10/13/ask-dr-hal-photos-2/

Please remember that the fate of this show, and of future shows, =

hangs on your attendance. So far, the indications are good; we've =

been playing to a full house. Help us keep it going by coming, =

sampling the varied (and delicious) menu, and mainly by drinking. The =

more booze they sell, the more they like us...
Your Password-- a passport to economy
Phoenix, our concierge, will greet you at the door. Ask him about the =

best seats. Remember, for just this time only, he'll knock half off =

our price with a wink and a nod, if you'll just utter our Seasonal =

Password:

"I have herpes and my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't know. Should I =

tell them?"

Inside, prepare yourself for a new level of the Ask Dr. Hal =

experience. As you
GOURMANDIZE (the menu at Caf=E9 Du Nord, 2174 Market St., includes Thai =

and vegetarian entrees-- try the calamari in dipping sauce, a squid =

that practically laughs, heh, heh, with flavor-- far more than the =

usual burgers 'n' fries, which it also has) and QUAFF (the fully- =

appointed bar provides the full spectrum of alcoholic anodynes) in =

restaurant-style comfort, snugly tucked away down in an intimate, =

(literally) underground bohemian night spot, Dr. Hal will then essay =

to soothe your digestion by answering all questions submitted, =

Chicken John will sneeringly read them and the unheimlich K-Rob will =

accompany the action in sights and sounds. Jascha Ephraim, our =

Technical Wizard, will helm the traditional mind-breaking Special =

Effects, and of course Yo-yo Czar David Capurro will, as ever, keep =

the show disturbingly connected to the digital world. From time to =

time his findings appear abruptly on our Giant Screen, to the delight =

of some and, it must be frankly admitted, the consternation of others.

Our "Day of the Dead" Show...
The original celebration can be traced to many Mesoamerican native =

traditions, such as the festivities held during the Aztec month of =

Miccailhuitontli, ritually presided by the "Lady of the =

Dead" (Mictecacihuatl), and dedicated to children and the dead. In =

the Aztec calendar, this ritual fell roughly at the end of the =

Gregorian month of July and the beginning of August, but in the =

postconquest era it was moved by Spanish priests so that it coincided =

with the Christian holiday of All Hallows Eve or All Saint's Day (in =

Spanish: "D=EDa de Todos Santos.") This was a vain effort to transform =

the observance from a profane to a Christian celebration. The result =

is that Mexicans now celebrate the day of the dead during the first =

two days of November, rather than at the beginning of summer. But =

remember the dead they still do, and the modern festivity is =

characterized by the traditional Mexican blend of ancient aboriginal =

and introduced Christian features. Join the parade-- just make sure =

your steps ultimately take you to
Caf=E9 Du Nord, 2174 Market St.

Opening Acts: the Facts
Last week, the enchanting undulations of the nubile nymphs of Sparkle =

Motion added needed movement and verve to the overall experience, as =

the comely chorines pouted through their pulse-raising paces. Say, =

that certainly was a memorable moment when one of the troupe's pants =

were ripped off, wasn't it? Remember, we are perpetually endeavoring =

to improve our presentation, and adjusting our new format for the =

convenience of our dedicated friends and patrons.
This week, we have music and mirth-a-plenty as we proudly present a =

line-up packed with tingling talent. Sean Hayes, a seasoned performer =

with wide appeal, Obo Martin with more music mystification and =

Silver, like a high-born maiden in a palace tower soothing her love- =

laden soul in secret hour with music sweet as love that overflows her =

bower. But mirth as well as music, as indicated above, may be found =

on our menu, as we then bring on Will Franken, fresh from his smash =

show, "Good Luck With It." These may well prove to be hard acts to =

follow, ladies and germs.

We entreat our old fellow-travellers to remember that, =

these days, contrary to their previous experience and expectation, =

the show actually starts on time, when we say it will. Regrettably, =

last week there were still once again a chagrined, rueful few who =

only arrived after all was over. Don't forget, the new Dr. Hal show =

begins at 9:00 PM sharp.
And then boffo boffin Dr. Pete Goldie gets up and reveals =

the latest news from the frozen outer realms of our Solar System, not =

the close, warm part where there's Mercury and Venus and Mars and us =

but the remoter subzero latitudes where the giant planets and their =

moons lumber through their orbits. Only at the Dr. Hal Show.
K-Rob's Big Bug Edit deals firmly with hypertrophied =

insects, hard-shelled members of class Insecta, both in legendary =

prehistoric times and in the heart of today's ultra-modern =

metropolis. Really huge. Those who are sensitive to such material are =

advised to turn away or shade their eyes.
It's a new era, folks, and though our show is indeed once =

again a contender, we must emphasize that it isn't quite the same. In =

keeping with the inflationary spirit of the times, we do ask a =

nominal charge of seven dollars for admission, a regrettable economic =

necessity. With the password-- this time only-- a mere $3.50! Beat =

that! Less than the price of a mere burrito and beer, or the rough =

equivalent. But this paltry, tawdry seven dollars admits you to a =

memorable salon of music, mirth and intellectual inspiration-- it's =

actually quite a bargain, unlike the aforementioned (hypothetical) =

burrito. But we're not telling you everything about this week's =

programme. Look for surprises among the star turns, Mystery Guests, =

Fernet giveaways and Bardic outbursts. Read all about it: check us =

out at our brand-new website =

at =

=

=

askdrhal.com/

Then join us at Caf=E9 Du Nord, 2174 Market St. Friends, it's =

pathetically easy to find Caf=E9 Du Nord. You'll locate it without =

hardly trying-- on the north side of Market, next to the Shell Gas =

Station at 15th Street. But why burn expensive fuel to support the =

oil-drenched oligarchs? Ride in comfort on the F-Line streetcar, =

which stops at the corner of Sanchez and Market. The J Church car, =

the one Dr. Hal personally uses, neatly deposits you nearby. Church =

and Market is also a major Muni stop; the N, M, L and J lines all =

stop at the Church Street Station.

S P E C I A L A N N O U N C E M E N T
by Dr. HOWLAND OWLL

Dr. Hal here. I just wanted you to know that if you've been looking =

for my book, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks, and not =

finding it at newsstands and airport bookstores, now you need look no =

further. For a limited time only, through a special arrangement with =

North Atlantic Books and publisher Frog, Ltd. now you can get it =

right from me, Dr. Hal. It's true-- this attractive, reasonably =

priced volume ($9.95), profusely illustrated by the Author, is =

available for sale at the show! Christmas is coming, don't forget. =

Makes a great stocking stuffer (heh, heh). For anyone who's ever been =

troubled about what happens to your missing socks. But don't take my =

word for it-- just listen to the critics rave:

"Hal Robins (...[writing under the name] of [Perditus U.] Pedale) has =

discovered--and the very amusing, detailed drawings he's put in this =

slim volume from North Atlantic Books illustrate-- that while the =

mysterious appearance of Unknown Socks in your drier [sic] (and the =

mysterious disappearance of the socks you expected to find) may be =

conventionally explained, deeper, darker explanations can be found by =

looking farther than the interior of the drier [sic] mechanism..." -- =

BOING BOING

"If Robert Benchley, Bob & Ray, James Thurber, S.J. Perelman, Stephen =

Hawking and H.P. Lovecraft were all to collide in a Quantum =

Entanglement Event with a pair of Argyle socks, the result would be =

almost as weird and hilarious as this guided tour of theoretical =

hosieristics from the High Priest of Arcane Smart-Alecks, Hal Robins..."
-- Marc Laidlaw, author of The 37th Mandala and writer of the =

popular computer game Half-Life

"...Robins once again offers up his unique artistic technique..." -- =

Winston Smith, contributing cover artist to The New Yorker

"Hal Robins is witty, cunningly arch, downright funny, cosmically =

connected, and very, very entertaining." -- John Shirley, author of =

Crawlers and screenwriter of the film The Crow

"Countercultural impresario Hal Robins... has authored a small =

masterpiece... a delight from beginning to end, filled with lovely =

language, absorbing illustrations and fantastic ideas... that reaches =

an astounding climax... Not to be missed." -- Rudy Rucker, author of =

Frek and the Elixir

Ladies and Gentlemen! I, Dr. Hal, am now not only poised to sell you =

this book right at the show but also to autograph it and inscribe it =

for you then and there, thus exponentially increasing its value. A =

bargain now available-- only eighteen left.

THE HAL SHOW! SIX MORE MEMORABLE NIGHTS! REMEMBER-- GOOD QUESTIONS =

ARE REWARDED WITH FERNET BRANCA, THE MIRACLE LIQUID, UNWATERED AND AT =

FULL STRENGTH.

Venue:

cafe du Nord
2170 Market St @ 15th St
san Francisco

www.cafedunord.com

Additional Info:


www.askdrhal.com